why is that smone special so special?

imagine u r surrounded by loads of liquor..and frnds..and great music...u r dancing like hell..and still u r missing somenone..someone who makes every moment special for u..someon whom u cn always trust blindly...someone who taught u the tru meaning of love was to always love someone selflessly without any terms or conditions..

i experienced all of it this new yr...i terribly missed someone who made my life complete..who made it beautiful..who taught me the meaning of love...i am really missing that person and that feeling has left me with a strong notion..if u luv someone..just dont keep sitting around for the perfect momente..any and every moment is perfect to express ur love for that spcl smone..so go aheah and give it a shot :)

The 30-second window

Recently I went to Tirupati with my parents..I had heard a lot about the place, its mystique aura, and its calming effects and so on. Just like my parents, I was excited to visit such a high-profile place. We started at 8pm and reached the base of the hill at 1:30 a.m. The guide allotted a room for each family and asked us to get ready and re-assemble in an hour. I took this “getting ready” a bit casually and just washed my face and came down in an hour only to be surprised by the transformation in my co-passengers. Almost everyone had taken a head bath and people were dressed up in proper traditional attires. It felt a bit weird to see people all jazzed up in the middle of the night, but I did not ponder over it much as I was still feeling sleepy after the bumpy bus ride. On our way up the hill, I slept like a log, only to be woken up by faint sounds of bhajans which were still discreet owing to the creepy silence of the dark. My watch was showing 4:00 a.m., a somewhat usual time for me to go to sleep. But my surroundings were as alert as a normal day time. Silently, we scurried to the package tour entrance and waited for the gates to be opened somewhere around 5:00 a.m... Till this time, I was pondering over why people used to say that the “darshan” was usually a 2-3 hour affair and it may take longer. Not to be surprised, I would find my answers pretty soon.

At 5:00 am sharp, the still crowd suddenly came alive and people started moving at a constant speed in a queue. What started then was a long journey to the “garbhagraha” – the centre place where the main idol of Lord Balaji resided. We walked through lanes, basements resembling dungeons, covered roofs, and many such winding paths. Although I was a bit fatigued by this night-out, other devotees were chanting “Govinda Govinda” continuously with an amazing energy, which kept us moving. Finally, at 6:15, we managed to reach at the main doorsteps of the garbhagraha, and what I saw there was unbelievable. The entire room was made of pure gold!! The dome, the flag, the kalash…everything sparkling in the morning sunlight! But I thought that this was not the only thing for which I had come this far. So, after walking continuously for 80 minutes and rigorous jostling with the crowd, we finally entered the temple. But to my dismay, I could hardly see the statue for 30 seconds max, when a volunteer literally pushed us out.

I was so worked up! I had stayed up the entire night, walked 2-3 kilometers in the long queue, got stomped over by some people just for these 30 seconds of a distant sight? I felt bad and silently walked out of the temple, collecting the prasadam and still lamenting upon this. But, when I came out, and saw the glow on the faces of my parent and other people, my logic went for a toss. I was amazed to see the light of hope in people’s eyes that they had encountered one of the most amazing sights and all their fatigue had simply vanished in those 30 seconds. I realized that people would have come from farther places just for this single moment, and it gave me mixed feelings. On one hand, it was good to see their hopes getting materialized, on the other hand, I felt a bit sad on seeing the extent of commercialization of this place which has reduced the actual darshan window by several times. Still, it was an experience which gave an overall good feeling after I came back from the trip, but maybe I am still not very satisfied with the amount of efforts put in and the outcome we had.

How honest u r??

Recently I was filling up some self-evaluation forms and while blabbering about how good I am as a person, I just lifted my pen for a minute and pondered over one of the qualities I had mentioned about myself. I had claimed to be very honest in whatever I do…and mind it..i am not at all refuting that attribute of mine! But come to think of it, how honest we really are in our day to day lives? Every New Year we take resolutions, every other month we break them and then we make new ones! “I would read a novel every week”, “I would try to be less worked up this year” etc etc etc. But how much are we able to abide by it? 1 month? 1 week? 1 day?
Actually we never slack in the beginning of the resolution. In the initial phase, we are full of energy and enthusiasm and are strongly determined to make a difference this time. Gradually, as we start achieving our sub-goals, it is at this time when we become complacent. It seems like the good and fiendish side of ours always stays at conflicts. Like in the fitness regime, initially everyone is happily eating salads and avoiding junk food entirely. Then, as soon as he or she starts shedding a few pounds, then the counter attack begins. Slowly they start slipping on diet plans once a month, then once a week, and before they know it, they are happily chewing away those extra pounds and back to normal selves.
Well it’s actually not completely our fault! If everyone behaved in the ideal way, lived the ideal life, always wore the right clothes, spoke the right words, “ate the right food”..then life would become very boring..no? It would be a world the way it was before Pandora opened the forbidden box. People would lose the actual driving factor that keeps them going – the desire to achieve a goal, the excitement when they work towards that goal. I know this is no excuse from slipping away from what you plan, but then this is the typical way in which anyone’s psychology works! So next time if you feel you are slipping up, just put yourself together, pick up the loose ends and viola!! There you go!

Watz the result???

Ever waited for a moment in your life so eagerly that time seems to stop? It feels like eternity before you are able to see the long awaited result for your 10th / 12th / entrance exams…you suddenly start cursing the internet, then the results site, then the guy sitting next to you and while you constantly stare at that green progress bar increasing inch by inch, the entire examination day keeps reeling in your mind and you cannot help pondering over the probable worst results you may come across! Phew! That is indeed scary…I have had innumerable such awaited results in my life and yes, they still force my breathing to halt for a short moment, heart to start pounding at almost 150 beats/minute and beads of sweat to appear all over my face.

I am pretty sure that many people who will read this blog will disagree with me that they never faced such situation and results do not give them cold feet. I can give this in writing that these people lie point blank and such species are all the more scared to read the line, “Please find your result mentioned below”. I always wondered what is it that makes these moments so scarily special, and then I realized that maybe it is not the actual aftereffect of these results that scares us more, maybe it’s the perception of people which bothers our sub-conscious mind, maybe it’s the over hyped expectations from our performance which is subtly expressed by our friends and families… If we are able to isolate ourselves from such “third person opinions” about our caliber, maybe the specialness of these moments will gradually fade away in our minds.

One more factor related to these results is a peer pressure in some or the other way. Some days back, I was talking to a person who had just finished his 10th exams and was not very happy with his result. When I asked him the reason, he told me that he had secured “just” 87% in the exams and was not able to get admission in the science section of the college of his choice because they had a cut off of a “mere” 92%!! Well needless to say, I was left speechless at this revelation. It became clear that the bar for meritocracy is getting higher and higher every day and it has become almost impossible for average performers to survive. So when normal people impatiently wait for their results, they secretly hope for a respectable result so that their peers don’t think of them as a “just average”. Still such people are also able to settle for some or the other good place in life and then the GenNext round of expectations begins when same people, despite of the fears they faced with results, start pressurizing their own kids to excel in every field of life.

C’est la vie!!

New shoes, New Shoes!!

Choosing Shoes
by Frida Wolfe

New shoes, new shoes,
Red and pink and blue shoes.
Tell me, what would you choose,
If they'd let us buy?
Buckle shoes, bow shoes,
Pretty pointy-toe shoes,
Strappy, cappy low shoes;
Let's have some to try.
Bright shoes, white shoes,
Dandy-dance-by-night shoes,
Perhaps-a-little-tight shoes,
Like some? So would I.
BUT
Flat shoes, fat shoes,
Stump-along-like-that shoes,
Wipe-them-on-the-mat shoes,
That's the sort they'll buy.

I read this poem(rather was forced to read it ) long ago when I was merely 7 or 8 years old. I had to learn this poem in two days for my class test…so I hated it!! Still, its words stuck by me as the years passed by and I gradually started appreciating the true meaning of it.

After completing almost two years of corporate life, some of us have proceeded to pursue higher studies while some of us are continuing with their jobs; the latter group facing a common issue…occasional boredom in job/life and the flickering cheerful spirit that used to encompass all of us in our college days. Last weekend, which was a long one, all of us discussed at length about what to do and all, but somehow nothing got materialized due to the huge amount of inertia we all have gained over past two years.

Like many discoveries, I struck an age-old yet very effective way-out of this boredom almost accidentally. As I was getting bored, I went and took a good look at all the beautiful, lacy, plain, colourful..all kinds of footwear and on an impulse bought myself a nice pair. Trust me..it really cheered me up and the day did not seem longer anymore! Well, its not only me, almost all of my friends feel good when they go shopping ( YES guys as well! ). The next day, I joined the French classes which I had been planning for months…and again felt happy after attending the very first session! It was then it hit me that whenever anyone feels a bit gloomy or bored, just try to do something new and that will immediately take your mind off the current not-so-good state of mind.

This is typical human psychology (although I am not a guru or something, but logic explains it). The human brain gets bored of the same series of events repeating in an infinite loop..in our case, going to office, eating and sleeping..and the excitement starts dying down. The moment our brain is diverted towards something out of the routine, we get a rush of excitement and the brain comes “back in the game”! So try to do something new at least once a week( may not be as expensive as my last weekend’s indulgences ;) ) and you will feel the difference in your attitude towards everything you undertake…I am already planning to pick up my “New Shoes, New Shoes” in the coming weekend! How about you - got new shoes? Well, go slip them on and enjoy...

Mentors..Do you have one?

Five years back, when I was in my college,I got one precious advice from my jiju...the importance of which I would be realizing much later. While having an evening walk, he casually said, "In your career, rather in your life, you should always have a good mentor. He or she should be the one whose advice you could seek in any state of dilemma, one who will selflessly guide you to make your mark in your 'karmabhoomi'." I just listened to him and told myself "this is sheer pep-talk..wont come in handy for me", and just let it go.

Five years later, that is today morning, I was reading a chapter from the book "Liar's Poker" by Michael Lewis. The title of the chapter was "From Geek to man". The author of this book was a bond salesman in Salomon Brothers, who started his career in the glorious mid-eighties, when mortgages used to rule on wall street. In this chapter, he mentions two of his mentors, Dash Riprock and Alexander, who played a big role in carving his personality in the corporate world. As the chapter proceeds, he mentions how he observed the behavior of these two very different people and absorbed traits from them during his progression from a Salomon Trainee to a geek(the junior most person on trading floor) to a man, i.e a renowned Salesman.

While I was reading this particular chapter,it just struck me. I could very clearly see what my previous informal mentor was trying to tell me...you do not succeed in life with just your talent and a piece of luck. These are just the attributes you happen to possess like everyone else - maybe better than others in some ways which made you land in the current place wherever you are. The real game starts when you correctly recognize someone as your mentor. Believe me, this need not be your team mate, your manager or anyone from your work..it can be any person who you think has been an achiever and can provide you with advice and encouragement in your initial phase of stumbling over every other stone and learning in the process.What my jiju told me and what I realized on some introspection, that we actually do never have a sole mentor for any particular time frame. Even when we don't realize it, we unknowingly admire some person's peculiar quality, seek particular advices from a certain person..and so on. All these people, in some way or other, contribute to our success and failures, and thus are our partial mentors.

As important as it is to identify your true mentor in your personal as well as your professional life, equally important is to keep your eyes and mind open to ideas and suggestions. This is my personal experience that people with a relatively open frame of mind are preferred over those with conservative thinking, as it is easier to make the former ones see the big picture. So, while a great mentor can partially penetrate the mental block of a relatively closed person, even an average one can create wonders by leveraging the talent and caliber of a more open person. As for me, I have gradually become more open to thoughts and ideas, and still have a long way to go. I personally never believed in a single mentor, rather a lot many people whom I happened to interact in some or the other phase of my life, have played small but important role in becoming what I am today. These mentors of mine may not have directly impacted my way of thinking, but I admit that I have learned from their experiences, both good and bad..and I feel that is the best way to learn quickly and capitalize on the positives you have.

Recession does not affect them!

Recession...all of us have heard about it, been afraid of it, many were caught in the turmoil. Since last September almost every person even remotely interested in finance has now become the guru, the know-et-all-about-recession person. I myself have been a part of many discussions in office and with friends about what would be the consequences of some I-banks going bankrupt, some turning into bank-holding companies, the bail-out packages, the impact on global markets and in India..the list is endless. But then..this blog is not about what has been discussed, analysed and established.

This is about those underprivileged kids for whom it is 24X7X365 days of recession, whether the markets sore or plunge.These kids, who, like any normal kids, would love to spend their time playing without worrying about anything in the world. Unfortunately, in some or the other ways they are pulled into those malicious organisations which "train" small kids to beg on signals, railways stations and other public places; or to be used to serve as a child labourer in factories, shops etc.. One fine day the poor kid wakes u and Boom...there goes his childhood and innocence for a toss. He is out there begging not for himself, but to give the entire amount along with "hisaab" to his boss who would otherwise beat him up for not being up-to-mark.

What would these kids know of recession, sub-prime crisis, Satyam scams? And even if they knew, will it affect them in any freaking way? All they could dream of is having a normal life in which they could study and earn in order to break loose of the dark shroud of gloom that they have been thrown into. These kids, who might not have even entered their teens have a look of a 30-year old guy in their eyes, ready to work in any condition, just in the hope of trading their labour for liberty. Probably they would never get to know what was the impact of the global meltdown on Indian economy or how did the inflation sore or how would the GDP growth be improved...they will strive for their living till they perish in the process.

So many campaigns have been started by several NGOs throughout the country which aim at ending this child labour. Yet, there seems to be a minimal impact on the plight of the lesser fortunate ones. Every citizen who has had a basic education is aware of the fact that this kind of child labour is illegal..yet most of us refuse to see through the problem or try to tackle it at our own level. If every person of the educated class decides to be a part of healing this system in some or the other way, either by participating in the Sarv Shiksha Abhiyan, Teach India, NGOs, whatever suits them even for an hour of his/her entire week, change can be brought gradually. I think its high time we stopped blaming the government, the system, the norms of the society and pulled ourselves out of those cozy seats of ours to actually contribute in bringing a difference in the way we want...

From Kafii to CHAKORI :)

If you tell a lie 100 times..even that appears to be a truth"..how true! Well it all started when I was in college. One fine evening when our Annual Sports meet Josh was going on, me and my friends were watching a Volley Ball Final match..the atmosphere was tense for players as they had to bear the non-stop "hooting" by the spectators(not me!). All of a sudden something happened that grabbed the interest of all the people standing near the court. One of my friends shouted at the top of his voice.."KAAAAAFIIIII" and immediately to his response, as if through telepathy a person on diagonally opposite end shouted "ZYAAAADAAAA"...and before we knew it, the entire crowd was chanting this "KAAAFIII ZYAAADAAA" like a slogan stated never before. Inquisitive as i am...I asked many of my friends after the match as to what this kaafi zyaada meant and i got a single answer from all..."kafi zyada means kaafi zyada...na kuch kam na aadha!".

Soon people did not even care about what this meant , what context it was created for or who created it. Kafi Zyada became the cult word...whenever you were happy you exclaimed kaafi zyada!..whenever you passed a sarcasm on anyone's common sense you said kaai zyada..whenever you met some one across the road you greeted them with kaafi zyaada...the list was endless. Along came several other bakar words like bhokaal...bum bhokaal...bhaiyaaaa...chaukas chauraha...bawaliyaa...latest addition to this being CHAKORI :) But no matter how many words were devised...Kafii zyada has consistently topped the charts!

Such was the power of these cult words that even after 2 years since we have passed out of our college and are more and more swamped with work, whenever we meet old friends or even mere acquaintances from our college days, we just say kaafii and the gap just vanishes in thin air. Probably even 10 official get together or alumni reunion will not be able to charge us up more than talking to friends in our own kaafii terminology! I think our entire batch will owe this to the super talented junta who created such novel funky words which got picked up as a fun-thing but turned out to be one of the strongest media to keep people bonded.

Well as I said earlier, CHAKORI is the latest addition to this list of bizarre words and it is already becoming very popular in our tukbandis on orkut and facebook…lets see if CHAKORI becomes the new kaafi zyaadaa ;)

”Haan to fir junta…chahe chora ho ya chori..zor se bolo CHAKORI CHAKORI!!”

Special Thanks to : Prasoon, AD, moti, shobhit, pandit,PD...chodo yaar in short all moti ke laal of batch’07!!

The power of miscommunication

Zillions of books have been written about the effects of good communication and ways to improve a person's communication skills. But then, there are still so many people who have their age-old naive ways of conveying their ideas to others. Ever felt the pangs of frustration pop up when peole dont just seem to understand what you are trying to explain them? Its so simple and well planned in your head..why cant they just take a peek in it?Well apparently things are not that simple as they seem to be! Just imagine how you would have reacted in a situation if someone just walked up to you and said.."So dear, what was the result of the discussion that happened that day?". Irritated? Hell yes! Although he or she would have the entire discussion in his or her head in the utmost clarity..how the hell does it matter? You would not get the context by simply "peeking into their head"!

Few days back, my friend showed me a book titled "Eats, Shoots and Leaves". The context of this book was about a Panda who enters a restraunt, orders some food, eats it greedily and once he is done, gets up, takes out a loaded gun and shoots every one in sight. Just as he is leaving, somebody asks him from behind as to why he did all this.
"I am a Panda".
"So?"
"Look it up in the dictionary".
When the meaning of Panda was searched in the dictionary, this was the meaning people found "A Panda is an animal with four feet, and is black and white in colour. It eats, shoots and leaves."
Well it seems hilarious at first..but come to think of it, one wrongly punctuated sentence changes it all.

One single miscommunication can change the entire course of events. We have a very prominent example in history about the mass execution carried out by Felix Dzerzhinsky, the leader of Cheka( the military arm of Bolshevik communist government). In an operation to eliminate non-communists, Felix took a list of these non-communist prisoners Vladimir Lenin, who simply put a 'X' mark on the list and returned it to Felix. Taking this as an approval for mass execution, Felix killed 2000 people in one night. As it turns out, this was a case of sheer miscommunication - Lenin had a habit of putting an 'X' mark on all the documents which he had read to keep a track of read ones from unread ones; he neveractually approved of that massive killing by Felix!

All said and done, I really feel that it is more important to realize the power and misgivings that can occur due to one's miscommunication rather that just concentrating on the power of effective communication. Try to think what you actually want to convey to the person in question and if possible analyze it from a neural perspective. It really helps a lot. This should be brought into practice by even those who have a flawless communication, beacuse a single misunderstood event can make you regret for a lifetime.